The End
by Vampirephile
Summary: it's 1918, and a young man and his mother fall ill. in a squalid city hospital, a strange eyed Doctor makes a choice.


And so the news had come.

my father, Edward Masen Sr., had collapsed in the street, while returning to us one afternoon. he'd been taken to a nearby hospital, full of the dead and the dying.  
The despair in my mothers eyes was unmistakable. she took to her bed that afternoon, and I did my best to tend to her, as she numbly took food from a spoon as I offered it. cried until her eyes were raw. I promised her then, if it was what she wished, we would visit in the morning, as soon as she felt strong enough. Eventually, she slept.

I knew then,my father would die. I'd known, in my heart of hearts, that very morning that he would not return home that evening. how I knew, I couldn't say. I just knew. I knew these things sometimes. Eventually, despite my fears for my family, I dozed too, my arms around my mother as she slept restlessly in her bed, calling my fathers name, her brows knitting in fear and worry. She'd not be much rested by the nights sleep, I knew that much.

The following morning, I rose early, Mother was finally deeply asleep. still and too quiet. I got up to prepare her something to eat for when she woke. my poor mother. She loved my father and I so deeply. this must be the deepest cut to her there could be. I felt hot, a little dizzy. a faint burn at the back of my throat.

And I knew.

Dammit, I knew. this was the end for me too. I promised myself to try not to let her know. she had enough to deal with already. I had to stay strong for her. I made my way into the kitchen, leaning a little on the wall for support, as I heated some milk for my mother. brought her bread and milk. I was wheezing from the effort. A cold sweat breaking out on my skin. As I dabbed at my forehead, it was burning. I checked my face in the reflective surface of glass in the cabinet. I didn't look good at all. Blue tinged skin, pale, sweaty, my hair sticking out at all angles, as ever, but my face was the face of the dying.

I gathered myself together, tried to seem healthy and bright. I couldn't bear to bring this burden on my poor mothers breaking heart.

I knocked at her door, as I was accustomed to, and she didn't wake. a jolt of fear twisted my stomach in panic. I approached her. called to her. no response. When I laid my hand on her forehead, her brow creased and she moaned. her skin was burning hot against mine. something inside me crumbled.

"Mother?" She thrashed beneath my touch on her hot forehead.

"Edward!" I knew I wasn't the Edward she called for in her moment of fear, blindly reaching out. My father. She sat shakily.

"it's me Mother. I've brought you something to eat. if you wish, we can go and see Father when you've eaten" after all. we were all walking dead now. her soaring temperature confirmed it to me. my own growing ache.

we were all done for.

"Edward. my Edward. my good...brave...boy" she whispered.

I helped her eat, and could feel her turmoil. she must KNOW she had it. I reached for my own forehead in worry. she was hotter than I was. her temperature was shocking. I helped her to her feet once she'd eaten.

her eyes met mine in that moment. had she noticed the terrible heat in my own skin?

"Edward.....I'm so....so sorry" she whispered.

"Mother, no. Come on, we need to go" I helped her dress warmly, and tucked a scarf around her throat, tucking it over her mouth and nose, for all the good that would do us both now. Kept up a hopeless charade of having a chance. She hesitated at the door, then went to a drawer. removed some small items and tucked them into a small purse at her belt.

She could barely stand now. I could feel an ache in my bones. a dull, grinding pain in my joints. I supported her slight weight across my shoulder, as we set off for the hospital.

I tried to get us transport, but one cab that stopped for us, the drivers eyes met mine. what must he have seen in that moment? green eyes rimmed in red, how I shook as I tried to support us both. He shook his head, and urged his horse onwards.

"No NO. I'll not carry the plague with me!" I could see the fear in his eyes. and wise he was. we were both damned.

I trembled as I put each foot, one before the next before the next. twice I fell to the ground myself. grazing my hands, a burning in my chest as I fought for air. No one stopped to help us when we fell. Crowds parted around us, whispered words behind veiled lips. Mothers clutching tighter to the hands of their children, steering them away from this walking Death we presented.

Eventually we were there. I knocked upon the heavy wooden door, and a tired looking, but pretty nurse opened it.

"My Mother..." I gasped "she...." My eyes locked to hers, and I could tell immediately her impression. _Both dead. both without a hope. perhaps he doesn't know yet._ Well I knew alright. "she's not well.....My Father......he's here..."

"your name sir?"

"Masen" I wheezed, fighting for air, even as nurses helped my mother onto a cot, out of my arms "I am Edward...my Mother.....Elizabeth....." I could feel I was shaking violently. someone helped me sit. "Edward Masen Senior....he's here"

At that moment, a tall, blond haired man came in. I immediately felt waves of compassion from him. I knew he was a good man. he'd help all he could.

"Doctor Cullen" he explained briefly. " I am so very...very sorry, Master Masen?" I felt my eyes burning with tears, I knew what his words meant.

"we're too late?"

"for your father, yes, I'm so very sorry...." he wavered. I knew again, as I knew that he was thinking it was too late for my mother too. "he spoke of you both, and how very proud he is. I am so, so sorry there wasn't more I could do." He laid a chillingly cool hand on my feverish skin, and his brows knotted over his remarkably warm, gold flecked brown eyes. "Master Masen.."

"Edward" I wheezed

"Edward, how is your mother?" I was relieved that she seemed not to have heard the news. I shook my head.

"not long. I know that....please....please, Doctor Cullen, Save my Mother." I pleaded.

"I will do everything I can, young Edward. as I do for all my patients." _as I will for you_. the voice rang out in my ears, although he'd not spoken them.

"Doctor Cullen" I gasped, as my knees gave way. he caught me easily. his cool strong hands on me. "help us" I whispered. The burning in my chest erupted into my throat, and the metal tang hit my tongue. I coughed hard, a terrible rasping sound, and there was blood on the doctors clothes. I could read the worry in his eyes. everything went black.

I awoke to pain. terrible pain. My muscles felt like they were on fire, my limbs heavy, a burning in my chest and throat. I turned my head into the pillow, wet with blood and sweat. I felt a terrible moan escape my lips. Then hands on my face. my mothers hands

"Oh Edward" she barely breathed. "my beautiful Son. I'm.....I'm so sorry......your father...."

"I know" I managed to mumble. to spare her the worry of thinking she was breaking the terrible news to me.

"and for you to be ill too.....I'm so....so sorry. my perfect.....beautiful boy." her lips were on my forehead, and I smelt death where her lips touched. I glanced about the ward. rows of makeshift cots. Faces pale. Blue or Grey tinges to skin. The sickly scent of dirty blood on the air. blood and sweat and death. the nurses were all exhausted. dark shadows beneath their eyes, fraught with concern and worry and fear. They all feared for their own lives, working among those of us with no hope. The terrible sounds around me. wheezing, gasping, groaning. dreadful wet coughs, and retching. one of the nurses reached my mother and I.

"Mrs Masen, you must rest" _for all the good it will do_. "come on, back to your bed. let us take care of things" My Mother protested weakly.

"now then, Master Masen" she helped me sit, a massive wave of dizziness hit me. Another nurse approached, as the first lifted me carefully so I was on my feet as the other stripped the clothes from the bed. I shuddered at the sight of them.

covered in dreadful scarlet and russet stains. I was shocked at how far the marks ranged, and realised my legs were wet too. I glanced down and nearly fell. the vibrant colour swam before my eyes. My Knees crumpled and the other nurse helped support me. I felt humiliated. This blood was from inside myself.

"What's happening to me!" I gasped.

"it's the Spanish Influenza" one of them explained. "it causes bleeding inside. in your lungs, stomach...bowels"

"I'm going to die" I whispered. she glanced away.

"we're doing all we can to help" she touched my face gently. _what a waste. nice looking young man_. the other put new sheets on the bed, bundled the others into a trolley in the corner.

They took a cloth and cleaned me down as best they could, then helped me back into the bed. the one who'd spoken smoothed back my hair, and went on to the next beds.

"Edward" that cool, calm voice. British? I wasn't sure.

"Doctor Cullen" I replied.

"you MUST rest, you're very very ill."

"My Mother..."

"she's doing better than you are. she sleeps a lot, but she's more stable than you are at this point in time. I don't know why it is....but healthy, young, strong adults...well it seems to hit them hardest. people like you."

"will she make it?" I pressed, finding a small seed of hope

"I don't know. but you must rest yourself. she worries a lot for you." again his cool, cool fingers, like ice on my skin. I flinched, and his eyes became wary.

"see, you have a very high fever. I see that my skin feels very cold against you, as you are so hot." he explained quickly. I glanced across at my mother. she slept peacefully enough, though her breathing was laboured.

"please Doctor Cullen....I.......I need to see my father." there was a moment of turmoil in his eyes, and I could tell he worried that I'd be distressed. "I know it won't be nice....but....he's my FATHER. I can't bear not to ever see him before....."

he nodded.

"very well then." he fetched a wheeled chair for me, helped me carefully into it. I tried not to show pain at the grinding in my joints as he lowered me to be seated. the movement set me coughing, and he took a handkerchief and pressed it into my hand. My ribs heaved, spasms of pain around me, as I fought against the tightness in my breath. I turned my face away so not to see the scarlet blooming on the cloth. in the strain of my coughing, I felt heat in my ears, and moisture trickling down my throat. Bleeding from my EARS! I despaired inside. Down a long corridor we went, and then he easily lifted myself and the chair to carry me down a staircase. down into the cellar. We passed the laundry, and the heat blasting from the room brought a sheen of sweat to my skin. with it the smell of blood and soap and death. I could see where the chute opened out, a great mountain of bloodstained cloth. I gasped

"how can you bear it!?"

" bear what?"

"the smell of the blood?" he seemed almost to smirk

"harder than you might imagine, Edward. but I do what I can. I feel it's my....my duty. to help my fellow man. and if that means enduring the smell of blood, then that's what I must do" Further down the corridor we passed through double doors. there was a chill and a stillness to this room. I shivered. he pulled the blanket closer around me.

It was so full. where normally bodies would occupy what seemed like shelves around the room, they were shoulder to shoulder, beneath sheets, on the floor. Doctor Cullen seemed troubled.

"I'm sorry that, as things are at this time, we can't bring more dignity than this in death....he died last night, sooo...." he took me to one side of the room. checked the name tags pinned to each sorry little mound. came to one and stopped. "this is what you want?"

a lump rose in my throat and I felt my eyes burn with tears. I tried to speak, and found my mouth dry. I nodded. Effortlessly, he lifted the shape below the sheet, I struggled to think of it as my kind, loving, gentle father, and laid it gently on the autopsy table. I took a deep myself against it.

"here..." he slipped an arm around my back and helped me to my feet. "he passed very quickly. he barely knew it was happening. he told me of you and of your mother. he seemed a good man." I nodded. then reached out and pulled back the sheet.

There he lay. his dark hair, messy like my own. his blue eyes, lids parted, the irises darkened in death. his skin marked with burst vessels, in blotches. I reached to touch his face. I was trembling. felt tears sliding down my cheeks. I turned my face away and the Doctor held me into his shoulder as I sobbed. great racking sobs that burned inside me. "Edward....are you ready to leave this place?" I nodded. he carefully lowered me back to the chair, and by the time I was back at the ward, my head was spinning. I heard a wailing

"my boy, my SON....."

"Right here Mrs Masen" the Doctor said as brightly as he could. I saw my mother Stagger to her feet, from her crouch above my empty bed.

"I thought.....they'd taken you....you were...."

"Edward needed a bit of fresh air, Mrs Masen. I took him for a walk. how are you feeling?" he lifted me, effortlessly again into the bed, and pulled the sheets around me, trying to make me comfortable. He quickly and efficiently examined her. his eyes darted to mine, and I saw the concern there. "Mrs Masen, you need to rest. you're holding up very well, but you MUST sleep"

"My Son..." Doctor Cullen moved the two cots closer together, and I felt her hand reach out and slip into mine, as she drifted back into an uneasy sleep.

I too slept. my dreams were vivid and frightening, although when I woke I remembered only the fear and panic. I think it was late into that night that I woke again. My Mother was sitting now. stroking my hair. she smiled sadly at me.

"oh my Edward" she croaked at me. I'm so...so sorry I couldn't keep us safe. I tried. I tried so hard" she helped me drink some water. it numbed my burning throat a little. another shape arrived. I heard no footsteps announcing his arrival.

"Now, Mrs Masen, you really should rest. you're wearing yourself out." she reached to her throat, fumbled with a clasp and pushed something small and sparkling into the doctors hands. "I can't take this"

"you must....if not for me.... then to keep it safe for......for him. I trust you." she took off her purse, and her wedding ring, again, thrusting them into the Doctors pale hands. "please. I can't bear the thought of them picking over my belongings when......when I'm gone. and if....well……if you don't give them to Edward" if I died. I read that in her face right then. we both knew it was inevitable. "then I....I want you to be the one to have these things. you've cared for us so kindly..." her eyes welled up, red tinged from that terrible bleeding, wherever the skin was thin and moist.

"Mrs Masen, I will take care of your things, until you are well" he whispered. she rolled her Eyes.

"Doctor Cullen, I'm no fool"

"you are strong. you have as much chance as anyone that I've seen come through these doors."

"Edward?" she demanded. the Doctor glanced between the two of us. and although I'd turned my face away in surrender, I felt him shake his head, just the tiniest amount, although he'd not meant to.

"Edward is in the best possible place to care for his condition. as are you. and you both MUST rest." my mind drifted away

Eventually I woke, if it could be called that. there was a sound of cries of pain, so very close to me. sobbing and retching. as I grew a little more aware, I realised the sounds came from my own throat.

once again the sheets were soaked through, and sticky with blood and sweat. I could feel myself shivering. One of the nurses, in her little mask, came over to me as soon as she saw I was awake.

"Master Cullen" she said warmly as she lifted a cup of water to my lips. I drank thirstily. "here, eat something" she fetched some thin soup, and helped me to eat it.

"why are you here?" I gasped when I'd fought just a little down "aren't you afraid?"

"yes, Master Cullen, I am afraid. but everybody dies eventually. if we weren't here then where would people go? they'd be dying in the streets. with no kindness to help them on their way."

"but...so busy.......how can you find the time....."

"we can't. but we try our best." her eyes were dark rimmed and exhausted, above the cloth that covered her nose and mouth. as another patient started screaming, she excused herself and rushed to their side. and once again, I lost my mind to the madness, waiting just at the edge of consciousness.

What followed was pain. ripping, tearing, burning pain. I don't know if I cried out, I must have done. the room around me was no more, just me and the pain. For hours, the pain seemed to go on and on. Beating my soul down until I could no longer remember my own name.

an ice cold hand laid across my forehead. suddenly I felt an emptiness, sat up so fast my head swam and I stumbled from the cot. falling to the empty one beside me where..... Oh God no.

"Edward...please, sit" that silky voice whispered urgently to me. strange, gold coloured eyes burning into mine. were they that shade before? surely they'd been brown. I felt sure I was losing my mind.

"Mother....." I gasped, as the pain circled me once more, my knees buckling. he caught me easily. I was choking. the air wasn't reaching my lungs, I fought for air, my body jerking fiercely. he glanced, panic stricken to see if anyone else was aware. I sensed that the nurse on duty was asleep. the exhaustion taking her down a black and dreamless road.

and then, realising no one could see, he pressed his mouth to mine. I fought as hard against him as I could, I needed air, dammit, but he held me easily in an iron grip.

his lips were icy on my own broken and cracked lips, and I felt the blockage in my lungs shift, enough that I could gasp for air again.

he fell back, his eyes glazed. his lips bloody.

"what.....did you.....do?"

"I promised your mother I'd save you" he muttered thickly. he seemed to be fighting some internal turmoil. and I was afraid. I feared for my life, the way he looked at me. The look in his eyes was alien to me. Was it Lust? Had he kissed me? Kissed me knowing I was dying of this illness? Surely not. Or….Hunger? I tried to understand the complex emotions coming from him. He seemed afraid too. He lifted me again, in that icy grip. and bundled me in the soiled sheets from my cot "if you want her last wishes kept, you must keep absolutely still, and quiet. He placed me on a little wheeled gurney, the cold, congealed masses of blood sticking against my skin, and pulled the sheet above me. I felt the bed moving. Doctor Cullen woke the nurse, gently, and told her that "the Masen Boy has gone"

"at last. that poor, poor boy" she said softly.

"I'm taking him down now, then that's the end of my shift. please, get someone to take over from you, you're dead on your feet. he said gently, and then we were moving again. soon we were in the Morgue, and he pulled the bloody sheets from my body, and lifted me. And then....well....we were flying. The night sky spun above me, and the breeze stung my skin. we must have moved so fast. but I was delirious with Pain. I was dying. that much I knew. perhaps I was dead. this was a strange sort of afterlife if so.

Before long I was in a soft bed.

"Edward. listen to me.."

"Mother...." I groaned, turning my head to the pillow, my cheeks wet with tears. cool fingers guided my chin so that I was looking into the Doctors face. my chest was tightening again, and my breathing was shallow now. I could bring little air in with each fight. Compassion. Compassion. Compassion. it was all around me. "you must listen... the pain will be worse, but then it will go, you must be strong...I know you're strong enough." _I only hope I am_. unspoken...wait, what?

"there's a cure? I gasped…..they…they found a cure?"

"no. not a cure. But for you there IS a way out"

His face was closer still now, and his breathing shaky. then it stopped. there was tension in his body, I didn't understand. his cool cheek slid past my feverish one, his lips along my throat.

and then.

A sudden, sharp pain. I cried out then, and heard a deep groan, felt it shudder through the arms that tightened around me. I trembled. His body clung to mine…Dear God what was he DOING to me!

"help me!" I gasped. it seemed with great strain that he raised his lips from my throat again, once more his mouth bloody. a savage burn remained where his teeth had pierced me.

The Doctors eyes were wild then, gone from light gold to a warm russet. his lips drew back in a snarl, and with a growl, he lunged at the other side of my throat, once more that terrible burn. he was some kind of MONSTER! that good, kind, caring man, a Monster.

He shook his head hard, as if trying to clear it, his eyes meeting mine again. I recoiled in fear beneath his crimson glare.

"Edward" he said. his voice thick with effort "don't be afraid" what a thing to say, not to be afraid...this was some demon feasting on my blood and telling me not to be afraid. but still, that compassion came from him in tore through my blood splattered shirt like it was a cobweb, and again, sank his teeth into me. into my chest. where the skin was thin. I found a terrible screaming in my ears, and as I had already once before, realised the scream came from me. Several times more, those terrible, shining teeth tore into my fevered skin. into my wrists, the crooks of my arms.

I felt myself weakening, as he drained me.

then the Doctor threw himself from my body. shaking. his hand at his mouth in disgust. he seemed in some kind of frenzy. and then. he pushed it down. came to my side.

the fire ripped through my veins, as a child I'd been bitten by a snake, and the area around it had caught fire. my mother had sucked the poison from the bite. this was like this but...worse. so much worse. Scream after scream came from me. I threw my body about, as if trying to extinguish the flames inside. a detached part of myself noted that if I could scream so freely, then I could breathe. Cold, cold hands on mine "be still....the pain will be terrible, but it will not last forever"

"how long?" I gasped. he looked away.

"about 3 days, perhaps. truthfully, I don't know. but it seems, if you are in so much pain, it must be working." this was unbearable. at least with the time in hospital, I'd had some moments of unconsciousness to break up the terrible pain.

the burning seemed to move through my blood vessels, searing each part of me as the blood in me reached it. and what could I say about the pain. first it burned through my blood, and then my bones, my muscles, my brain, half mad with pain, but not mad enough to take the edge off. From every point where my skin had been torn at, it was like flaming pokers had been forced into my veins. Slowly, slowly the burning travelled through me. Slow inch by slow inch. I thrashed against it, trying to bite back the screams that tore their way from my tortured body. And then…. Hours later, it must have been. Exhausted, the pain moved on to my organs. All of my insides felt as if they were being wrenched and twisted. Throwing my body hard from one side to another, as yet more cries of agony escaped me.

How could it be possible for pain to go on and on like this, not lessening, not easing, not showing any signs of ending. I could hear the doctor talking to me, but the words didn't reach me. Buckled over, sobbing in pain, I begged for the end to come. I begged for the release from the pain that my illness had promised me, and the Demon had taken _I'm so, so sorry. Why did I ever think this would be the right thing to do. You're a selfish man, Carlisle Cullen. What kind of monster would do THIS. _I reached for him, as he sat beside me, his crimson eyes burning with….with concern.

and then. after days of that continual, uneasing, unceasing, unending pain, my heart had had enough. I felt like it was going to burst from my chest and make a bid for freedom. pounding harder and harder and faster. I gasped raggedly, pulling in more air. More air to scream my suffering uselessly to the world. again, the Doctor was close by my side, his hands on mine, I gripped them so hard, I must have been crushing his bones in his very fingers. I screamed my agonies right into his face, as my body spasmed and twitched, and fought all the way. The pain grew worse. My heart raced, and I could barely breathe through the burning in my chest. How could it be WORSE than it had been already.

and then.

it was over.

the burning pain was gone. to my horror, my heartbeat was gone too. my hand flew to my chest in a panic, my eyes flying open. I felt momentarily dizzy at the bright whirl of vivid colour, the shapes, the CLARITY.

_it worked! he's changed...._ there was turmoil in that voice, far too clear, _surely, his mind though, is his mind intact. I remember how strange it all felt to wake up and not be human anymore_

"what?" I gasped.

"Edward?" _please let him be okay. surely this on top of the illness, could it have been too much for him to take?_

"not human?" I asked, amazed at the sound of my own voice. I looked again at the Doctor. SURELY I must be dead. he couldn't truly look like that, could he.

his hand brushed my forehead, and startled me. his hands felt almost warm now. _not human? surely he didn't hear that. how could he hear that?_ his lips weren't moving.

"ahhhh, I must be mad! or dead! this is NOT REAL!"

"you are alive, Edward" _if you can call this alive_.

"what does that mean? am I alive or not?" I demanded. his ruby eyes met mine. "your eyes! I exclaimed...why are they.... like that" _his blood. my eyes are a monsters eyes again, now, aren't they. surely....this can't be possible. but I'll try something, see if it is happening or not._ he cocked his head to one side. _Edward Masen_. his voice as clear in my mind, but his lips were still. do you hear me now, Edward Masen. "I hear you Doctor Cullen...but....but how?" he spoke again, clearly more comfortable to to do so out loud.

"I don't know. but clearly, you do"

"can you hear my mind?"

"no, I cannot"

"and what am I? if I'm not Human. sort of alive. what am I?"

"you're like me. I made you like me, I promised your mother I would save you. it was like she knew" I saw her face in his mind then. her hands, white, gripping his fiercely. her green eyes burning. Save him.

I felt a stinging in my eyes, and went to dab at them. they were dry. I couldn't even cry for the loss of my beloved Mother. His arm across my shoulders..I was aware of that terrible burning in me again. only now it was in my throat. "Edward....if you choose to stay with me, as I hope that you will...you must call me Carlisle."

"Carlisle" I repeated. trying it on my tongue.

"it's time for you to learn what we are"


End file.
